new year…

it's been almost 2 months since 2011 begun, and it has been the toughest new year beginning ever. there's a lot of reasons: financial, familiar, emotional and so on… I've been down, even downer a bit up and down again, my father said it's because I've without any specific to do, any occupation.

I repainted my room (now it has pink) and repaired my ceiling, I cleaned up my desk and my dressing table, my book shelves on so but I still feel sad, the problem is that I'm starting to think things that I shouldn't and that depresses me more, and I've come to realize that my self-esteem is on the floor.

I don't know how to deal with all these things happening and I feel lost…

the heart...

the heart is a really tricky matter, you don't know why but you feel a lot of things that doesn't make any sense at all.and normally you tend to assume that sometimes it's love, but... does true love exist? I'd rather think not. we're humans and we'll always make comparisons and when it comes to couples we do it even more but we forget we're not the other and we'll never love like the other. I discovered today that real love is a fantasy, we hurt and also get hurt because we expect something that in reality doesn't exist. but we can try to love but the truth is that it doesn't make sense expect to be loved as we want but we can be certain in some other ways we can be "liked"...

aging…

I'm about to be 30, that for me is kind of sad and joyful at the same time: sad because i look back and i feel that i haven't accomplished as much as I'd like to, but joyfully because I've gathered a lot of friends and people that in their very own way showed me their affection.
Thank you life for giving me all these opportunities and giving me the chance to give the best of me every single day, and thanks mom for being there wherever that is and standing by me.
So let's go to the thirties with a renewed vision of life and a lot of energy to give the max every day!!

After all I do really love life…